Day 19: Be Aware of Unconscious Overclaiming

Trip to Bay Beach!

It’s easy to think “I’m the only one around here who bothers to…” or “Why do I always have to be the one who…?” and ignore all the tasks you don’t do. Also, when you add up the tasks that you do tackle, keep in mind that they may seem less important to someone else than they do to you. – Gretchen Ruben

It’s easy to think “I’m the ONLY one who does ANYTHING around here!” but in reality we only focus on the thing we find important to us.  Over-claiming is when we unconsciously overestimate our contributions relative to other people’s contributions.  For example, I’ve found myself wondering why I’m the only person between the two of us who vacuums and dusts the apartment, but then I remember how much Tyler helps me outside of the home by taking out the garbage, adding fluid to my car, and running to the store.  Although I believe that what we do between the two of us is split pretty equal, I understand how many couples deal with this everyday.  In the future, instead of complaining about how much YOU have to do to keep the house afloat, consider everything your significant other does to assist as well.  That will put things into perspective and make you appreciate them doing all the things you don’t consider as important!

Where I think having fresh baked cookies in the apartment is important, Tyler makes an amazing trip planner!!!

Bay Beach park – City of Greey Bay, WI:

 

Day 16: Respond to the Spirit of a Gift

This year’s Birthday Cake…Mmmm 🙂

Saint Thérèse emphasizes the importance of accepting gifts in the spirit in which they’re offered, instead of responding to the gift itself. She doesn’t want to be distracted with chitchat; she wants to write. She doesn’t want a bouquet in her lap; she wants to see wildflowers growing in the fields. But she takes “care to appear happy and especially to be so.”

The gift of an education

The gift of being loved, and loving others

The gift of beauty

Think back to when you were younger (like wayyy younger, try elementary school) and you received a gift that you didn’t like.  Being the pure and innocent child that you were, you did what you deemed the sensible thing and acted with bewilderment that this person would even think that you would LIKE this, sadness that this was all you received, or anger thinking that this individual was trying to change you in some way.  I would be amazed if you’ve never received a gift that you weren’t crazy about (which is why I’m a huge fan of gift recipes & gift cards), and your parents probably used your disappointment as a teachable moment.

For example, one year in middle school all I wanted from St. Nick were 2 tickets to an alternative music concert called “The Big Snow Show” playing in Milwaukee.  Needless to say, when I didn’t receive the gift I expected I was disappointed, mad, and ungrateful.  To this day I’m embarrassed about the way I acted because the gifts that I did receive were also things that I loved but just not as much as the one thing that I wanted (and because now I understand that my parents probably didn’t want their 13 year old daughter going to a rock concert in Milwaukee on a week night)!  When I’m a parent I’m going to use this example the first time I see the look of disappointment on my child’s face after opening a gift.  The fact is, disappointment is a part of life but we need to learn how to appropriately “respond to the spirit of a gift” instead.

What lovely wrapping ❤

Ty’s giant cupcake!

Gifts from my Love 🙂

Mmm Melting Pot’s Chocolate Covered Strawberries

Day 15: Consider Some Hard Facts about Shared Work

First day of my last college semester…How bitter sweet!

Alright – where are my hard working, independent students out there who remember groaning at the first sign of a ‘group project?’  You know…Those dreaded assignments where everyone was supposed to contribute the same amount of time, knowledge, and attention to detail, but you were always the only one who stuck it out through the end only to receive the same grade as the rest?  Yes, shared work is a pain in the rear, but it’s a part of life that we either have to deal with or live as a hermit.  For day 14 of her 21 day challenge, Gretchen suggests 4 facts about shared work.

Fact 1: Work done by others sounds easy. 

How hard can it really be to march and play an instrument?  For some…very very difficult…

Fact 2: When you’re doing a job that benefits others, it’s easy to assume that they’re aware of your work—that they should feel grateful, and that they feel guilty about not helping you.

Doing the dishes has always been the most PAINFUL chore for me…But at times we just need to suck it up and get ‘er done! Sometimes I take someone else doing the dishes for granted, but I should really be grateful for their hard work 🙂  Below is documentation of one of my greatest conquests…

Before…

AFTER!!!

Fact 3: If you care more about a task being done, you’re more likely to end up doing it–and just because you care about it doesn’t mean that others feel the same way.

Voting is a perfect example of this! Where I believe that my vote counts and took the time to hit the stands, others found it a waste of time and pointless!

Fact 4. If you want someone else to do a task, just do it yourself. 

It would have been SO much easier to leave these beautiful flowers at home, but since I was the only one willing to bring them on the move they came with me!

 

Of all 4 facts, which one can you most relate to?

I would love to hear your opinion!